As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
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It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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