My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
