I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
