I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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