Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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