OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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