i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Randomize
