3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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