yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
soo... how was my night?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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