Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
