I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
