my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Randomize
