Having a random hookup so left but love u
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Randomize