i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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