FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize