After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm passing your future prison.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
