His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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