he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
These 21 Declassified Government Horrors Are Unimaginable
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack