she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed