you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
