There is no way he is gay with that hair.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
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I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
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His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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