I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
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You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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