he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
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turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
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When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
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