Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
