Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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