Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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