Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
