She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
