she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize