Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I need help removing her.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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