You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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