i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
