I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
