ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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