Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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