He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
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