Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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