just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.