My first STD was from a foam party
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.