Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(786): View more from Florida

Thats something to write home to mom about

(305): View more from Florida

Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her

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(786): Thats something to write home to mom about (305): Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her http://tfl.nu/y6ih

Replies (17) Good night (1583) Bad night (412)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count

(1-609): View more from New Jersey

You don't understand. I'm not like you.

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(609): Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count (1-609): You don't understand. I'm not like you. http://tfl.nu/ja4i

Replies (25) Good night (2353) Bad night (566) Order T-Shirt
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(309): View more from Illinois

I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.

(309): View more from Illinois

"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.

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(309): I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head. (309): "I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night. http://tfl.nu/9065

Replies (62) Good night (8909) Bad night (783)
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(925): View more from California

I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'

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(925): I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized' http://tfl.nu/3ov3

Replies (14) Good night (4297) Bad night (1126) Order T-Shirt
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(732): View more from New Jersey

Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?

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(732): Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra? http://tfl.nu/estf

Replies (10) Good night (2551) Bad night (538) Order T-Shirt
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(+35): View more from

I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.

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(+35): I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH. http://tfl.nu/jeai

Replies (7) Good night (2219) Bad night (586)
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(217): View more from Illinois

There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.

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(217): There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle. http://tfl.nu/aejf

Replies (1) Good night (519) Bad night (1175) Order T-Shirt
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.

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(774): You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians. http://tfl.nu/e4s1

Replies (9) Good night (2666) Bad night (443) Order T-Shirt
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.

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(508): You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up. http://tfl.nu/f7oz

Replies (4) Good night (1856) Bad night (344) Order T-Shirt
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(914): View more from New York

I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.

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(914): I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP. http://tfl.nu/wc3n

Replies (12) Good night (1939) Bad night (636) Order T-Shirt
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(512): View more from Texas

I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?

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(512): I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts? http://tfl.nu/sh8w

Replies (13) Good night (1090) Bad night (1149) Order T-Shirt
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(661): View more from California

How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.

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(661): How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents. http://tfl.nu/nsw6

Replies (17) Good night (447) Bad night (1058) Order T-Shirt
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(682): View more from Texas

She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.

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(682): She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels. http://tfl.nu/oykt

Replies (12) Good night (949) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
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(315): View more from New York

I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores

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(315): I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores http://tfl.nu/za4f

Replies (3) Good night (849) Bad night (225) Order T-Shirt
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels

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(412): Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels http://tfl.nu/7a7h

Replies (1) Good night (897) Bad night (278)

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