There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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