your thong is hanging out like whoa
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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