Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
