sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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