I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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