Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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