Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
