when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
