just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
