she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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