he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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