i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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