is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
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Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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