come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
