if i died would you start the facebook group?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
