we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
