I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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