How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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