Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
