I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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