no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
