Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize