I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
home. puking in laundry basket.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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