five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
