i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
