i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
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We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
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I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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