Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
