Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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